Toddler Sillines

Peter has been so entertaining lately.  We've had warmer weather and most of the snow has melted, so it's afforded us more chances to go outside without Peter crying over the cold.  I took advantage of it to play with him several times on the trampoline and in the tree fort.

However, we can't always play outside and when we play inside, Peter has made us laugh many times lately.  One super funny incident was when we were playing with our monster puppet.  It's a puppet with velcro pieces so you can customize the monster a dozen different ways with different hair, eyes, mouth, nose, horns, arms, etc.  Peter has a bit of a love/hate relationship with the puppet.  He's always the one to pull it out of the drawer and he loves certain pieces but there are a couple that freak him out.  This day one of the freaky pieces had fallen out of the bag right next to a car he wanted.  It was a little piece of orange fuzz that can be eyebrows or ears, etc.  (It wasn't the green hand in the picture, he's not scared of that at all. It's just the orange fuzz!!)

 He wanted so desperately to play with the car but going near that rogue piece of monster was too frightening.  I wish I had it on video.  He kept stepping forward trying to muster up the courage and then shrinking back in fear like there was a poisonous snake curled up by the car.  He'd whine and pull my arm trying to get me to grab the car for him, but I just kept encouraging him to get it.  I even blocked him in with my legs so he couldn't get away from the piece without going over it.  He scrambled and clawed his way over my legs to get away. I finally gave up and gave him the car and he was so happy.  Then guess what he went over and got out of a different toy box?  A giant plastic spider!  He placed it with other toy animals and played happily.  WHAT? 

Piece of orange fuzz is scary beyond all measure but the giant, creepy, hairy spider is a toy?  I laughed so hard at that.  It reminded me of when Christian was so freaked out by the little rabbits at the petting zoo when he was the same age.  There's no logic at 18 months.

Another funny moment this week was when Peter took Benjamin's lunch container and tried to fit into it.  He pushed it up against the step ladder, so he could hold on and then got both feet inside the box and sat down.  He actually managed to sit on it in such a way that he didn't fall over and actually kind of fit in this little box! 

 When we laughed and smiled at that sight, he was so proud of himself!  He continued to stand in the box for a long time afterwards, guaging our reaction if we still thought he was so cool for doing it.  He loves making people laugh and loves being the center of attention.  He's adorable.

No Need for Speed

Christian and Peter love to play with Peter's little ride-on vehicles, but Christian had an idea to add some speed to the mix.  He got on his hoverboard and got Peter in his car and then pushed the car around the house with the speed of his hoverboard.  Christian declared, "I'm having an awesome time but I don't think Peter is."  I agreed.  I didn't even take a picture because I didn't think the image of Peter crying while Christian is grinning was a great one to post.  In the end, the idea was abandoned.  However, later, Benjamin was on the hoverboard and Peter wanted to try.  That went much better.  Benjamin scooted super slow around the house and Peter had a great time.  I guess we just had to find a speed he liked better.

Cross Country Skiing

Last week the kids were off school for a few days and Kelly decided to take them cross country skiing.  I couldn't come because of Peter, but the kids had a wonderful, frigid time. Kelly sent me a few pictures of the fun.  I'm sad I couldn't go but I'm so glad that Kelly got a chance to spend some time with the kids doing something outdoors and active.

Bella loves to lay in the snow.  Whether we're skiing, sledding, or just making snowmen, you'll find her laying in the snow the majority of the time.

More Snow Fun

It snowed about 6 inches last night and the kids had the day off of school so we went sledding again.  This time we decided to go while Peter was napping since Kelly was home working.  It was much more fun without Peter's whining and without having to carry him back up the hill between every run.  Also, we were the first and only ones on the hill!  Such amazing snow and not a soul there!  The sight of a 1/2 foot of new snow and not a mark on the entire hill was such a delight.  Although, some fun was still spoiled by Benjamin's constant demands of "race you up the hill and if I win, you give me extra screen time" and "how much screen time would you give me if I jumped into the frozen lake?" and "how about you try snowboarding down the hill and if you don't make it, you have to give me more screentime?" and on and on and on.  However, I know everyone had a good time and it ended far too soon.  

This is how Benjamin prefers to sled now.  I'd really love to get him a snowboard.  I think he'd be amazing.

Christian had fun just rolling down the hill.

This cutie is always willing to pose for a picture for me.

I asked all the kids to pose for a picture with their sleds and 2 of the 3 did just as I asked.  This was how Benjamin honored my request.

He was a bit ticked that I made him take a decent one.

I had to prove I was there too. :)

Bella wanted to slide down together after the boys and I did our 3 man sled rides a few times.  I think I enjoyed it more than she did.

Benjamin's Photo Essay

 Benjamin was looking through the photos on my phone tonight and he found a picture that Christian had taken of Peter playing with some of Benjamin's computer components (the screen he's looking at was black, by the way).  Benjamin thought Peter looked so cute the way he looked like the perfect gamer, that he browsed through the rest of my photos and told a little story.  I thought it was pretty funny.  This is how it went:

Peter is the ultimate gamer.

And not only that, but the ultimate cool gamer.

With perfect balance

And a balanced diet

And with the ultimate examples and positive influences to lead him.

It's a short little story, but I thought it was funny.  Benjamin has been coming out of his funk the last couple nights.  We've been able to talk a bit and he's actually started playing piano again too.  I'm not sure what changed, but there's light at the end of the tunnel.  One help was a story which we listened to during dinner. It's from a talk given at BYU in 2017 by Lynn G. Robbins.  He's one of the co-founders of the Franklin Covey time management company and he gave an amazing talk called 100% Responsible in which he shares a story about some employees of his who always had an excuse for their mistakes and always shoved the responsibility for the mistakes on others. Kelly and I had both listened to the talk and loved it so Kelly played that story during dinner and we talked about it a little bit, but mostly let the story speak for itself and the next day Benjamin was a little bit better and since then things have been improved.  He's still challenging but, like I said, there's light emerging.  It's a huge relief.

Here's the link to the talk:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnfdKt0Iw4w

It's religiously based, but its principles and his "anti-responsibility" list (at 10:36 in the talk) are universal, whether you believe in God or not.

Another thing that I think has helped Benjamin is that I've made him do his homework at the kitchen table.  I used to never make him do that because it's busy at home and I didn't want him so distracted.  I felt doing it in his room would help him focus better.  However, I realized that in his room he was listening to music, messaging his friends, watching YouTube, and playing video games all while doing his homework.  Far more distracting than just having people walk around in the room!  Blocking most of those sites didn't help either.  He always found work-arounds and other sites.  He hates that I make him do it in the kitchen, but he's gotten his homework done faster this week and it's allowed him to interact with us more which I think has really helped.  Not being so isolated all the time has helped him be happier and more amiable and it's been good for all of us.  When he needs a mental break, he talks to us, rather than turning to online entertainment.  I've also been able to notice when an assignment doesn't require the computer and the computer is simply a distraction.  In those times I can ask him to turn it off and focus and it's really helped him.  

Don't Want to Go Out/Never Want to Come In

 It has been bitter cold around here lately.  Single digits for days.  Given Peter's sensitivity to cold, his eczema and my lack of desire to spend 10 minutes bundling him up in his snowsuit, gloves, hat, and boots, we haven't gone out much or sledded at al this week.  We walk Coco and we do our usual grocery shopping and giving people rides, but that's it.  Yesterday, however, Christian would not get off the computer and I was seeing another Benjamin in my future, so I snatched the laptop and told him to go outside and play.  He responded with, "Well, would you play with me?"  It was already dusk and I really didn't want to, but I wanted him to go and figured going along would ensure he stayed out longer.  I told him to go out without me and I'd join him in 10 minutes after I'd bundled up and gotten Peter ready.  Peter did his usual crying the whole time I got him into his snow clothes, but once he saw we were headed for the trampoline and not the sledding hill, he perked up.  We ended up playing for nearly an hour on the trampoline in the snow and have a marvelous time.  We discovered that the whole thing was covered in a thick sheet of ice underneath the snow.  We broke it into large, jagged pieces and had "sword" fights.  When the pieces were too small to use as weapons, I buried Christian in what was left and he had a snack. .:)  It was so funny how I hadn't wanted to go outside, but once we got playing, it was so sad to admit that I really needed to get in and start dinner.  I love the fresh air and snow and even Peter seemed to really enjoy himself, although what you see in the picture is all he did the entire time.  He can't move around well in his boots and suit and so he just sat and watched us, but seemed perfectly content doing it.

Today I was talking to Benjamin about making use of the little moments of time that we have in a day.  The 5 minutes here and 10 minutes there that make up so much of our lives but can be so easily wasted with screens and procrastination.  I said I have a to-do list that I reference every time I have a spare minute to see if there's something I can get done and check off.  He responded incredulously with "What do you have to do?" I just laughed.  I guess it's a success if he doesn't realize I do anything all day.  Obviously I do it well.  He'd notice real quick if I stopped doing all the things I do.  He'd notice right away if his laundry were never done, his lunch never packed, his favorite foods never purchased, his dinners never made, his ortho/dentist/doctor appointments never scheduled, his piano lessons never paid, the dishes never washed, the floor never mopped, the bathroom never cleaned, the basement never vacuumed, the cat and fish never fed, the car never refueled, etc. etc. etc.   I just said, "You know all those chores you hate and refuse to do, that's what I do.  "Being a mom sucks," he responded.  Guess it's good he'll never be one.  Funny thing is, I find the role of mom to be pretty awesome. I get pleasure out of a neat, well organized, happy home.  I love that I can manage all the appointments, cleaning, meals, kids needs, etc.   It's satisfying.  And getting to be with Peter all day is a true joy.  He is getting to be more fun every day. Last week I grew tired of Peter crying every time he woke up from his nap.  He'd cry and cry and didn't have any reason for it.  So for a couple days I'd go in there to get him and say, "Peter, why are you crying?  You don't have to cry.  You can just say, "Mommy, I'm awake!  Come get me!" and I will.  I said this every time I went in for about 3-4 days, knowing that he couldn't speak and would never do this, but just to see what would happen.  Today he woke up from his nap and I heard some babbling, but no crying.  Then I heard louder babbling.  It took on a tone of someone calling to another, just as I'd demonstrated.  It didn't have any words or sounds I recognized, but the tone and volume were clearly, "Mommy, I'm awake,!  Come get me!"  When I walked into his room and said, "Hi Peter!   Are you awake?"  He bounced in place and grinned at me.  It was adorable.  He's learning so fast, it's incredible.

Interesting

Christian found a bag of trail mix in the van this morning and decided to have a snack. I always eat it straight from the bag, but he poured it into a bowl.  I assumed he'd get a spoon and eat it that way.  However, he also got a plate, so I investigated.  He sat down and proceeded the separate out each ingredient into its own pile.  

    Me: You know those trail mix ingredients taste best when eaten together.

    Christian: I know, I just like to be in control of the ratio.

Then he added bacon bits from breakfast to his assortment and happily ate his snack....all but the almonds.

    Christian: Is it okay if I get a knife and cut the almonds in half before eating them?  

    Me: At this point, you've already made this simple ready-to-eat bag of trail mix so incredibly complicated, what's one more step?

He got out a cutting board and a large cleaver and cut each almond into two halves before finally eating them too. 

In this world full of interesting people, Christian ranks right at the top for me.

Little Gymnast

Today Peter was playing with cars in his room and trying to run them down the ramp of his ball-popper game.  That didn't work, so I went to the garage and grabbed a board for him to use as a ramp.  He happily ran cars down the ramp for quite a while.  However, eventually that got boring, so I decided to see what else we could do with this board now that I'd made the effort to get it.  We did a variety of games with it, but the most popular was to use it like a balance beam.  I held his hand as he walked back and forth along the board.  Then he grabbed the bed and tried that way.  He practiced turning around on it, squatting and standing, and jumping off the end.  We pretended that to fall off the beam was to land in the water with the fish on his rug.  It was really fun.  Amazing how much time you can spend just playing with  a piece of wood.

I wish Benjamin would learn how much fun simple toys could be.  His report card came out last week and his grades had dropped in every subject except band.  The only thing that has changed in that time is that he downloaded minecraft to his computer.  Kelly and I had refused to let him do that for a long time because we knew that he wouldn't be able to fight the draw that that game has.  We worried he'd ignore responsibilities to play it.  He insisted that he just wanted it during Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks and he wouldn't play it during school times.  We were "fixed in our minds with a determined resolution", but just like Lehonti on Mount Antipas, we compromised and it was our downfall.  He downloaded it before Thanksgiving break and played it every day thereafter.  He always had another screen open to flip to when we'd come check on him, but we knew what he was doing.  We put internet blocks on him, but he figured out ways around them.  We moved his desk so it would be harder to hide what he was doing, but he continued.  It went from there to other sites and other content and he would spend 12-13 hours straight at his computer on youtube, minecraft, discord, and other mindless sites.  Even during seminary he was playing video games on one screen while the zoom class was on the other.  I've watched my Benjamin who two years ago ran track and cross-country, visited friends, had hobbies, played with family, and enjoyed going outside, completely abandon all that.  He has no hobbies, talks to no one, and never exercises or even goes outside unless I force him (like sledding) or to go motorcycling (thank goodness for that one thing he does willingly!).  He has no interest in family activities.  He's always telling us how boring everything we do is.  Thank goodness for scouts and band or he'd never get away from the computer.  Finally on Sunday (4 days ago) we uninstalled minecraft and other similar content.  He was so upset.  He's an addict in withdrawal.  He won't talk to me or answer my questions.  When he comes home, he won't smile at me or hug me like he used to.  He just grunts and goes into his room.  It's been really hard.  He warms up a little in the evening, like tonight I helped him with math and we had a pleasant time doing it together.  Such moments are very rare, though.  He argues a lot with me and won't even stay in the room to listen to my side of the issue.  Just goes back into his room and slams the door.  He's a teenage boy, so partly that's normal, but I really worry about him.  He can't go two minutes without mindlessly playing on the computer and it's really hard for him to do well in school.  Life holds no joy outside of the screen.  I largely blame covid and the isolation and screen-dependence that forced upon all of us.  However, although all my kids' screen dependence has skyrocketed since last March, only Benjamin seems completely obsessed and addicted in this manner.  I pray every day that he'll find a passion outside of the screen that will bring him back out into the world and help him to learn and grow and find joy away from the computer.

Sledding...the new running

 Since it's too cold and icy to run outside every day, we taken to a new form of exercise this week - sledding.  We've been to the hill several days in a row and everyone, other than Peter has loved it.  Peter has grown ever more unhappy anytime we mention sledding or snow.  On day 1 he cried after an hour, on day 2 he cried after 30 minutes, on day 3 he cried as we put on his snowsuit at the top of the hill, on day 4 he cried as we said, "come get in the car, Peter, we're going sledding."  He can always be placated, though, with some fun downhill speed and trips to the van to warm-up.  Bella, Benjamin, and I take turns staying in the car with him and feeding him snacks and that way we can usually get through a sledding session alright.

Bella decided to make herself useful since all she wanted to do was lay in the snow.  She made a pretty awesome ramp.

The lake was frozen over, but there were large "Danger.  Thin Ice" signs.  The kids decided to test their luck.  The lake is one of those irrigation/flood prevention lakes that aren't any deeper than Benjamin is tall, so I figured it's no big deal.  In the end, they chickened out and never even made it half-way across.  They had fun pretending to be polar bears and listening for cracks.  No cracking was ever detected.

We all take turns going down the hill with Peter.  He always cries when you first put him on the sled, but he has fun on the way down.  At one point, Peter was in the van with Bella and Benjamin, Christian, and I hooked our sleds in a train and went down multiple times like that.  That was a highlight.  Minus Christian's, "We're all going to die!" on repeat from behind me.  We never had any trouble, but he yelled that every time we went down.  Sadly, because I was on the sled, I didn't get any pictures.

Eating the snow was also enjoyed by the boys, although Peter wasn't ever willing to try it.  He did try to imitate them, though, by sticking his tongue out, but in the end he just laughed at their snow covered faces.

                                                

At home I've tried to come with unique ways to play to break up the unending monotony of our lives.  One day I got out some wooden spoons and we played soccer in the kitchen with the spoons.  That was fun and different.  Peter seemed to really enjoy it.  I tried to help him understand the concept of a "goal" but he didn't care one wit about that.  So I gave up and we just whacked with reckless abandon.  

Who needs a playpen when you have a giant Costco diaper box?  I filled it with toys and put Peter in it and he loved it.  He played happily while the others and I played card games.  It worked out great.  Although, his favorite thing became "toss everything out of the box."  The activity ended soon thereafter.

Kelly's latest thing is wok cooking.  He bought several woks and piped natural gas out to the backyard, where he set up a stove on a stand.  Now, every lunch time and every Saturday evening, he's out there firing up that wickedly strong flame and tossing meats and veggies.  He has various oils and sauces in squirt bottles and it's a show as good as any trip to Benihana's.  Peter and I like to sit by the sliding glass door and watch him cook.  It's perfect.  We stay warm and then we eat yummy food, all while the kitchen stays clean.  Although, Peter won't eat a bit of it - he's still as picky as ever.  He just sticks with his bananas and almond butter.