The New Normal

With the school year in full swing, Benjamin gone, Kelly in a new job at Ford as Associate Director of Capital Strategy, and me teaching early morning seminary, we are slowly finding a new rhythm.  Benjamin seems to be doing the best of all.  Every week we get happy emails, photos, and some really great calls.  We are so proud of him.

He is having eating contests (who can eat the most tacos/ice cream bars/etc) during down time, but mostly he's staying quite busy and learning a lot.  He has been made zone leader and even willingly got another hair cut!  He's definitely growing and changing.  When we talked on the phone he even spoke some Spanish with me which was so fun to hear.

I think about him all the time but I no longer get weepy...actually that's not true.  One time I cried - when I attended the school district's marching band showcase.  The showcase is where all three local high schools come together to perform.  For the last four years Benjamin was right there in the middle - tall, blonde, with his giant drum, and even bigger smile, leading the cadences, keeping the beat.  He was never happier than when he was performing in marching band.  Unless he was playing video games. :) This year, it was his friend Evan.  It was Evan's name that was announced as drumline captain and Evan that led the band in cadences.  Nowhere was my handsome boy in his red uniform.  I couldn't help crying a little.  It just seemed so wrong.  I just kept reminding myself that Benjamin was doing something infinitely better.

Bella and Christian were in the showcase this year, which was wonderful.  Bella always looks so good out there.  She's got the perfect posture, perfect marching steps.  She really stands out.  I was so happy Christian could join too because the high schools invited all the 8th grade band students to join them for the national anthem.

Peter is slowly adjusting to being in school.  He only goes Tues and Thurs and that's already way too much he says.  I really wish he'd enjoy other kids more.  We are struggling to get him to make friends and socialize.  He is just absolutely opposed to talking to or playing with others.  Whether at the library, the play ground, swim class, or school, when there are other kids, he becomes supremely uncomfortable. We have been working on just smiling and saying hello when greeted.  I tell him you don't have to play with everyone, but just smile and say hello.  Baby steps.  He's trying.  The other day a 17 year old girl told me she smiled and said hello to him in the hallway at church and he awkwardly smiled back.  She said it made her day. :)

I took him to the cider mill/apple orchard last week.  It's an amazing place with all sorts of things to see and do, but it was also very crowded.  He was miserable.  I couldn't get him to do anything he'd been excited to do before arriving, because of the other kids.  Only when he could manage to do something all alone was he finally at ease.  He went home declaring it had been a terrible day.  Alas, buddy, the world is full of people.  You're going to have to get used to it.  

Bella and I did another service project together last week.  We worked with a group called Life Remodeled that transforms neighborhoods here in Detroit.  They spearheaded an effort they called their "6 Day Project" where thousands came every day and removed blight through various activities, predominately yard work.  We came on the last day and helped clean up and winterize everything that was used.  Bella and I worked for hours doing this and she was a champ - never complaining or standing idle.  Just kept moving and working.  My job was to drain the gasoline from 350 lawn mowers.  What a job! When we had 6 mowers left, my partner, Dave, decided to go get a bagel!  I couldn't believe it.  We'd done hundreds and he stopped with 6 left!  So I did the last 6 and when I was on the very last one, another volunteer came over and said, "I'm going to take a picture of you working so hard and Dave just standing around eating a bagel!" 

I thought it was very funny.  Dave was a good sport about it too.  He happily jumped into the picture.  He's actually a very hard working guy.  He's been at several of the projects Bella and I have done together this past year and we secretly call him "Chainsaw Dave" because that's what he uses most when he gets a chance.  It was nice talking to him when there was no chainsaw blaring.  I've really enjoyed getting to know all the people in these various service projects Bella and I do.

A tradition at Kelly's work is that when you sign your last deal, you get to wear the Golden Jacket.  He sent me this picture last week on his last day at his old job.  A surprisingly emotional day.  This job came 5 years ago the same week as he was called to be bishop.  It was a job that has taught him a ton and also was the absolutely perfect job for a bishop - lots of flexibility.  And just as its time to be released from his responsibility as bishop, he is also switching out of that job.  There are no coincidences.  God was in this from the beginning and knew just what he needed.  We have been so blessed.

Missionary Training Center Life

 We haven't heard from Benjamin except for the email he sent when he arrived:

"Made it. all was super easy except for all the spanish."

He's not a man of many words but I very much appreciated knowing he was well. Thanks to the internet, I've managed to glean a little more information.

This picture was sent to me by the man in the bottom of the picture.  I received a text from him telling me that he'd been in a lesson with Elder Dalton and Elder Brooks via zoom and wanted me to know "He radiated the light of Christ and taught with power through the Holy Ghost."  I don't know how he got my number but his text made my day.

This picture is of all the missionaries who entered the mission training center in Mexico City the day Benjamin did.  It was posted on the MTC's Facebook page.  I knew they were going to take this picture because they post the new arrival picture every week and I'd asked him before leaving to please try to sit in the front row so I'd be able to see him well.  The sweet boy obliged, even though I know he's not a usual front row sitter.

So, he seems to be doing well.  Now I need to stop picking up food for him at the grocery store, setting a place for him at the dinner table, going to his room to wake him for church, and expecting to hear him coming into the kitchen.  These routines are so ingrained and they hurt each time I realize they are no longer needed.

He Left A Hole

 A piece of my heart went to Mexico today and a huge hole has been left in my life and home.

He will be in the Mexico Missionary Training Center until Oct 22 learning Spanish and learning how to teach effectively.  Then he flies back to the US, this time to Wichita, Kansas where he'll be until late Summer 2026.

I held it together until I gave him my final hug.  Then I started to break down.  I held myself mostly in check until he was through the door and then I fully let loose.  How do you say goodbye to your baby for 2 years?!  I saw my little toddler walking away inside that grown man.  My little Benjamin.  I had 18 years, almost to the day and then he was gone. 

The sadness was about the 2 years, but it was so much more than that.  The future will never again hold a place where Benjamin's home is my home in the same way.  2 years mission, then likely only a couple weeks until college at BYU Provo, and then who knows?  This marked the end of life at home with us as we've known it.  So many thoughts, worries, and wonders. Also so much joy, excitement, and pride.  I remember very well being where he now is - the first day of the mission - so much ahead of me.  It was the best time of my life - mission, college, and beyond.  I'm thrilled for him and this opportunity he'll have.  He's going to be amazing. 

It's just going to take this mama some time to grieve that her work is done.  To come to terms with the fact that he's finally doing what I've worked so hard for and prayed so hard would happen - he's a strong, capable, well prepared man ready to go out and live his best life.  No one can adequately prepare you for how hard it is to accept success in this job.

It's Official - We Have a Missionary!

 Benjamin was set apart as a full-time missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints yesterday.  He spent all day today in on-line training meetings with other youth from all over the country.  He met his training center companion who is from Irvine, California will also be serving in Wichita, Kansas, Spanish Speaking, so hopefully they can travel from the Mexico to Kansas together.  He says he's really nice and they get along well so far.  Otherwise, Benjamin has shown remarkable maturity.  He sat and learned and focused from 2pm-11pm today (late start due to differing time zones) and it was amazing to see him so dedicated.  We're super excited for this new phase in his life.  We know he's going to be amazing.

Family Pictures

 Before Benjamin leaves, we wanted to get one more set of family photos.  I was super grateful my teaching partner in seminary was willing to be our photographer.  She does an amazing job.  I think they turned out very nice.  The best part was Peter willingly posed!  First time in multiple years of trying for a decent family photo with him.  It made me so happy.  Also, I'm so glad I got a last picture of Benjamin before his dramatic hair cut.

It's Getting Real!

 The fact that Benjamin is really leaving for two years is starting to hit hard.  This past week we had some big milestones - Benjamin's ordination to the Melchizedek Priesthood and his first time in the temple to receive his endowment.  

Awkward attempt to document the moment in Kelly's office after the ordination (we only thought to take a picture after other priesthood holders had left):

It's moments like this I wish we had a lot of extended family around to join us for such moments (and to make the pictures better!) but I'm so grateful for my little family and this last bit of time we have together.

Benjamin's missionary tags came and we got all his suits.  Christian wanted to model.

For his endowment we had to go to another temple because the one in Detroit is closed for renovations until October.  We chose the Columbus, Ohio temple because our other options were Chicago (farther drive, a bit overwhelmingly big) or Indianapolis (also closed for renovations).  We're very happy with Columbus.  It was small and personal.  He was the only one going through for the first time that day and everyone gave him the star treatment.  They helped him to feel much more comfortable.  It was a very emotional day for me seeing my son in the temple after all the years I've spent praying that such a day would come.  As I entered the celestial room and sat with him and Kelly, I couldn't help but cry with joy, of course, making Benjamin very uncomfortable, I'm sure.  I'm just so grateful to God for His plan and His goodness.  

We drove down to Columbus Thursday night, just the three of us, while Christian and Bella stayed with Peter.  We got a hotel Thursday night that was just ten minutes from the temple and we went to the temple Friday morning and spent pretty much the whole day there doing various ordinances, including Benjamin's endowment.  Saturday we did another endowment session before driving home.  It was a wonderful last few days together, just the three of us.  Made me think of the trips the three of us took when Benjamin was just a baby - up north in Michigan & down to Kirtland, Ohio.  Little Benjamin in the back seat.  I'm going to miss that boy so much but I'm so excited for him.  And check out that haircut!  That's sacrifice in action, right there.  He went and got it done without complaint.

Home MTC starts Sept 9 and he flies to Mexico Sept 19! 

In preparation for him leaving, I also have been teaching him a few last minute things, such as this week, it was how to sew up a tear in clothing and how to sew a button back on.  We made it the lesson in our family home evening this week.  While we were practicing, Peter wanted to sew too.  I handed him a piece of fabric and two buttons and Kelly helped him with the rest, while I showed the older three.   Kelly helped him sew on 2 buttons but Peter wasn't interested in sewing up the tear, because look how cool Dinosaur Peter looks!

Last Days of Summer

As summer came to an end, we tried to squeeze in as many last minute fun things as we could.  Our annual Huron River clean-up couldn't be missed.  The local canoe livery provides breakfast, lunch, and free canoes to anyone who wants to float and clean the river.  We do it every year and the highlight is always the section of river that passes by the golf course.  We collect dozen and dozens of ball every year.

Christian and Peter weren't quite as into it as last year but they still managed to have a good time together. 

Benjamin and Kelly made a great team.  Kelly was able to keep the canoe in place really well even in the current and Benjamín was never shy to jump in and get the good stuff.  He found a gameboy, an iphone, and about 10 lbs of trash, including more golf balls and anyone would know what to do with.  Well, full disclosure, Christian found the phone and the gameboy, but Benjamin was the one to actually retrieve them thanks to my lack of solo-canoeing skill compared to Kelly and Christian's unwillingness to jump in the water.  He's got some amazing eagle-like eyes, though.

As I watched this big man of mine walk around in the river, I couldn't help but think of the young boy who was also always so excited to walk this same stretch of river and collect golf balls.

He and Christian would always collect so many!

Another annual tradition is the touch-a-truck event.  Peter loves being able to sit in all the construction vehicles and the school bus, jeep, etc.

I had to take the Jeep Rubicon picture again.  I love cmparing to old ones.

This year:

2021:

Studying the map of possible trucks while sitting on the school bus:

How about this jeep?  Historic Vietnam jeep complete with the gun.

Bella spent her last days of summer camping and hanging out with friends from scouts.  They reserved a camp site and stayed up all night having a blast.  Then the wanted to hang out again, this time farther away than she felt comfortable driving, so Peter and I took her up and spent the dat at the beach nearby.  It was perfect weather and a ton of fun.

That same day, Christian and Kelly decided to go motorcycling.

Before:

After: