Where does the time go?

Isabella is already 5 weeks old. The days are packed and yet often as I fall exhausted into bed at night, I wonder, "what did I do today?" Often the only answer is "survive." I can't say I'm a fan of the infant stage - the round-the-clock feedings, idiopathic crying, and diaper blow-outs get tedious, but I must admit, she is getting really cute! To her credit, so far, she's had 3 nights where she has slept for six hours at a stretch. She's also started to smile in response to my smile. There is nothing more endearing than a little baby's toothless grin.

To speak candidly for a moment, this last month, the biggest challenge for me has come as I've tried my best to be a good mom to both my kids and play the balancing act as best I can between kids, home, and church responsibilities. There have been days (yesterday for example) when I've felt like I haven't fulfilled any of them very well. I was trying to prepare sharing time for primary and I had Bella in one arm as she screamed for some unknown reason, Benjamin on my other side urging me to read to him, and my computer in front of me, idle, because I didn't have a hand free to type on it. I didn't know where to begin. I finally pushed the computer aside and left sharing time for later, read one book to Benjamin while Bella cried, and then spent some time trying to get her to stop. Quite often, I've felt that I've neglected my kids, yet have nothing else to show for it either. That frustrates me terribly. I have tried to incorporate Benjamin as much as possible in the every day tasks regarding Bella and the household, but he also just needs time to play toddler games with me and she really needs time to just be with mommy being cuddled. They are at such very different places in life right now. I look forward to when their age-gap will no longer be so dramatic. Right now, no matter who I'm with, I'm feeling guilty that I'm not with the other. I don't want to wallow in misery and defeat. I know I'm not alone in this dilemma. Does anyone have tips how they balanced their attention between a toddler and a newborn and everything else life requires?

Anyway, we're honestly doing better than I had expected. I had braced myself for all out pandemonium here, yet so far, things look quite controlled, at least on the surface. :) Here are a few pictures of our recent weeks.

Help me! I'm the victim of a home hair cut by a sleep-deprived mother!



I'm constantly finding the oddest things in Bella's crib. Benjamin will hear her stirring and decide to share his "toys" with her. At this moment he'd been carrying his stuffed animal around by its tail with the salad tongs, so surely, she must want to play too.


Just hanging out on the couch.





Some cute Isabella photos: