I'm going insane

Now I feel silly that I ever got excited about contractions two weeks ago. I've since been 50% effaced and dilated to a 1 for over a week now, despite hard contractions, day and night for 9 straight days. I wake up with them, deal with them all day long, and yet - nothing. So, to keep myself from going completely insane as I enter my 41st week of pregnancy, I have cleaned every square inch of my apartment - from the blades on the kitchen ceiling fan to the bathroom cabinets and drawers and I decided to compile my profile pictures. In the first two you really can't see a bump, so I've started at week 27 and ended with the picture I took this morning at week 41. I'm not the best at web publishing, so the image is really grainy. I couldn't figure out how to get all those pictures into one uploadable image without going through word, then converting that to a pdf and then to a jpg. Naturally the process corrupted the images quite a bit. If any computer geniuses have a better idea, I'm up for suggestions. But regardless, the main idea is there - I'm getting bigger and bigger and bigger. At this point I feel like my skin is going to rip apart if he doesn't come out soon.

How much longer?

I really hoped I wouldn't need my doctor's appointment today. Or if I had to see a doctor - I really hoped it'd be the pediatrician rather than the OBGYN. However, Benjamin is apparently quite comfortable where he's at and despite frequent contractions, dilation, effacement, etc., nothing has officially started. The doctor says I'll likely go to my due date...or later. Great. I guess I shouldn't complain, though. I'm not swelling, have no hemorrhoids, back pain, heart burn, or sleeplessness. In general I feel good - I'm just so impatient!! I can't wait to hold my little boy. And although this may sound sick and twisted, I'm actually excited to give birth! I mean, it's an incredible miracle and although I'm scared of the pain, I can't wait to understand what I've only heard described all my life. My body is going to do something so amazing and I just can't wait! But I guess I'll have to. This is obviously only the first lesson in a long string of lessons teaching me patience with regard to this little boy.

Come on Down!

Yesterday at work I had about 30 people walk by and say, "You're still here?!?!" I'm not due for another two weeks, but in some people's opinion, "Your baby is so big, it looks like it's ready to just jump right off you!" I've learned so much about what NOT to say to pregnant women. However, as of yesterday I really thought I'd had no signs of on-coming labor. No braxton-hix contractions, no dropping of the baby, no dilation, nada. As of this morning, I realize I was wrong. I had my doctor's appointment and he first asked me about contractions or if I've felt anything and I said no. So he wrote that down in my chart and then he had me lie down. As I pulled my shirt off my belly, he said, "So, you're not feeling any contraction right now?" No. "Because you're having one." WHAT? Apparently I am incapable of feeling braxton-hix contractions. Could I continue this blessing through labor as well??!? :) He asked me a minute later, "Do you feel any difference now?" No. "Now it's stopped." He scratched out what he'd written in my chart and put that I am having contractions. I was so happy! I am having contractions! How cool is that?!? Then he did the exam and said that Ben's head is far down in the birth canal and that my cervix is changing. Yipee! Or, as Julia always says, Squee!! (I should ask her where that comes from, because I have no idea). So, maybe all those talks I've been having with Benjamin about coming early are actually getting through. Wouldn't that be wonderful? So, all those people that I told yesterday that I haven't had any signs, now I can tell that actually I am. I'm very happy. I mean, I know that all this stuff could happen now and Ben could still come late, but it's given me renewed hope anyway. Plus, now the nursery is all done too. The crib, changing table/dresser, stroller, bouncer chair, car seat, etc. etc. etc. are all ready to go and he's got more clothes to wear than I do! So, now he just needs to come down some more and get this party started! :)