Little Gymnast

Today Peter was playing with cars in his room and trying to run them down the ramp of his ball-popper game.  That didn't work, so I went to the garage and grabbed a board for him to use as a ramp.  He happily ran cars down the ramp for quite a while.  However, eventually that got boring, so I decided to see what else we could do with this board now that I'd made the effort to get it.  We did a variety of games with it, but the most popular was to use it like a balance beam.  I held his hand as he walked back and forth along the board.  Then he grabbed the bed and tried that way.  He practiced turning around on it, squatting and standing, and jumping off the end.  We pretended that to fall off the beam was to land in the water with the fish on his rug.  It was really fun.  Amazing how much time you can spend just playing with  a piece of wood.

I wish Benjamin would learn how much fun simple toys could be.  His report card came out last week and his grades had dropped in every subject except band.  The only thing that has changed in that time is that he downloaded minecraft to his computer.  Kelly and I had refused to let him do that for a long time because we knew that he wouldn't be able to fight the draw that that game has.  We worried he'd ignore responsibilities to play it.  He insisted that he just wanted it during Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks and he wouldn't play it during school times.  We were "fixed in our minds with a determined resolution", but just like Lehonti on Mount Antipas, we compromised and it was our downfall.  He downloaded it before Thanksgiving break and played it every day thereafter.  He always had another screen open to flip to when we'd come check on him, but we knew what he was doing.  We put internet blocks on him, but he figured out ways around them.  We moved his desk so it would be harder to hide what he was doing, but he continued.  It went from there to other sites and other content and he would spend 12-13 hours straight at his computer on youtube, minecraft, discord, and other mindless sites.  Even during seminary he was playing video games on one screen while the zoom class was on the other.  I've watched my Benjamin who two years ago ran track and cross-country, visited friends, had hobbies, played with family, and enjoyed going outside, completely abandon all that.  He has no hobbies, talks to no one, and never exercises or even goes outside unless I force him (like sledding) or to go motorcycling (thank goodness for that one thing he does willingly!).  He has no interest in family activities.  He's always telling us how boring everything we do is.  Thank goodness for scouts and band or he'd never get away from the computer.  Finally on Sunday (4 days ago) we uninstalled minecraft and other similar content.  He was so upset.  He's an addict in withdrawal.  He won't talk to me or answer my questions.  When he comes home, he won't smile at me or hug me like he used to.  He just grunts and goes into his room.  It's been really hard.  He warms up a little in the evening, like tonight I helped him with math and we had a pleasant time doing it together.  Such moments are very rare, though.  He argues a lot with me and won't even stay in the room to listen to my side of the issue.  Just goes back into his room and slams the door.  He's a teenage boy, so partly that's normal, but I really worry about him.  He can't go two minutes without mindlessly playing on the computer and it's really hard for him to do well in school.  Life holds no joy outside of the screen.  I largely blame covid and the isolation and screen-dependence that forced upon all of us.  However, although all my kids' screen dependence has skyrocketed since last March, only Benjamin seems completely obsessed and addicted in this manner.  I pray every day that he'll find a passion outside of the screen that will bring him back out into the world and help him to learn and grow and find joy away from the computer.