Early Heartbreak

We attended Benjamin's preschool Ice Cream Social this evening. He'd been excited about it all week. Dancing and ice cream - you really can't get any better than that. Shortly after we got there he told me, "I'm going to go dance." This kid loves to dance. We went to On the Border (a Mexican restaurant) a few weeks ago and he couldn't sit still while the Latin music played. "I just have to get up and dance," he told me. Then he proceeded to dance his adorable little white boy dances amongst the tables, to the delight of the other customers. "I love this music!" he called out enthusiastically. So, when he decided tonight that he was going to go dance, I wasn't surprised. Before long he asked Megan, a girl from his class, to dance with him. I couldn't get my camera out fast enough, so I only caught the last instant of the dance before Megan saw a group of girls who looked like more fun and dashed off. Benjamin had been smiling and thrilled as he danced with Megan, but when she ran off, his whole demeanor fell. He was crushed. He wasn't himself the whole rest of the night. He refused to dance with me or with anyone else. He pouted and moped and complained and barely ate his ice cream. He had two separate tantrums and the whole evening fell apart. Even the line dances - YMCA, Thriller, etc. were of no comfort. "I want someone to dance with me!" he whined. I explained that he needed to smile and ask someone, but he refused. Megan was busy jumping around and conga-lining with others and he was unwilling to make another move. How do you teach a kid not to let one little setback ruin an entire evening? I really didn't think I'd have to worry about this sort of thing this early! I figured sometime in elementary school, maybe. My first heartbreak came in 5th grade over Brian Allen dumping me for a 6th grader, but at 3 years old??! Alas, the world is a different place now, I guess. Thank goodness for Bella. She's a hokey-pokey fool! No one can "shake it all about" like she can. She had a blast. She even asked someone to dance with her during the Macarena. What a social butterfly.

Some Things Never Change

I made a big effort to organize the closet under our basement stairs. As the kids have outgrown toys, I would put them in there and after a while, it became a mess trying to get at anything else. So I spent an evening organizing and sorting and felt really good about the result. Benjamin must have sensed the change in the aura of the closet because the very next morning he went down there and opened it up. The new perspective on things caught his attention and within moments he'd destroyed my night's work. Every single baby toy I'd carefully stashed away was brought back out and dragged upstairs into the kitchen. I was pretty upset until I saw him on this toy and remembered that sweet little boy three years ago who at 4 1/2 months old did his very first sitting in the exact same spot. At that point I just had to take a picture and stop worrying. I guess the baby toys will be back out in 5 months anyway.

The Iron Chefs

A friend of mine emailed last week saying she'd bought her daughter a new play kitchen and wanted to get rid of her old one. She wondered if Isabella would like it. I don't pass up free things, especially not something as nice as a nearly-new wooden play kitchen, so I said sure. This morning as we came home from the gym, it was standing on our front porch. I laboriously dragged it inside and it instantly became the focus of our entire day. Early on it was used as a standard kitchen - the kids cooked oatmeal, soup, pizza, lasagna, etc. They washed dishes in the dishwasher and set the timer on the microwave, etc. However, after some time it became a jungle gym.


No longer did just the food go in the oven. The challenge became to see into which of the tiny compartments they fit. Benjamin started in the oven. "I'm cookies, mommy! Set the timer and bake me!" Then Bella had to have her turn at being baked (she chose to be broccoli). Then Benjamin discovered that if he takes out the dishwasher rack, he fit quite well in there too, and could even poke his head out of the sink from time to time. So he spent all the rest of our time at home today hiding in there and yelling for me to find him. At what age do kids finally get the whole "hide and seek" thing? At what age do they finally comprehend that if you saw them going into their hiding place or if they tell you where they're going or if they keep hiding in the same place over and over, that you'll know where to find them??? He's a smart kid, but none of these things has sunk in just yet. In any case, the play kitchen is a big hit and I certainly loved seeing my kids so happy. The best part: they were so busy that they forgot to yell poop the whole day. :)

Sparkling Dinner Conversation

Probably most moms, especially those with boys, hear some pretty crude talk at the dinner table. However, I'm new to all this and it's been very frustrating to listen to the talk that goes on around here all day and especially at meals. Benjamin has recently discovered the power of inappropriate words - the reaction they elicit in others. So his favorite thing to do is calling everyone and everything "poopy" or "stinky." Best if both words can be employed in the same phrase. Of course, Bella doesn't want to be left out, so she parrots everything he says. Today lunch conversation went like this, "Stinky poopy mommy!" said Benjamin. "Stinky poopy mommy!" said Bella. "Stinky poopy Daddy!" said Benjamin "Stinky poopy Daddy!" said Bella. All at the top of their lungs and each time interspersed with hysterical laughter by both of them. This went on until they'd named everyone in the family, and every item they could see in the room. In vain I tried to steer the conversation onto topics related to school or games. Any pleas to stop such talk were also completely ignored, if they could be heard at all over their screaming. They do this in the car, in the tub, and anywhere else the mood strikes them. Benjamin's favorite thing to do is say it with friends because it always gets a laugh. So pretty soon I have many kids all screaming these words.

I've tried putting them in time out for saying such things. I've tried getting him to only say those things in the bathroom where they belong. I've tried giving them rewards when they go a certain amount of time without saying them. I've had many conversations about appropriate language, etc. Nothing is having any effect. I know that poopy and stinky aren't swear words, but its the closest things these kids have and I find them distasteful; especially when used to describe other people. I also want to teach them now that there are words we don't use and they need to learn to respect that. I'd rather work on it now with "poop" than later on with "f*#^." So, what to do? He knows how I feel. I'll hear him come up behind me and whisper "poop" over and over as quietly as he can to see if I'll hear him and react. I don't know if I should ignore it so he doesn't get the attention he's seeking or if action is required to make it stop. Anyway this is what I thought about as I struggled to enjoy my chicken salad sandwich over the screaming. Maybe someone else has had similar trouble.

The Name Game

Carla posted a comment asking for the names we're considering and Erica said if I post them she'd decide for me, so here you go, some of the names we've discussed, in no particular order (since we can't agree on an order). Also, not a comprehensive list, but these are the ones that keep coming back around.

Marcus
Daniel
Christian
Nicholas
Patrick
Jonas
Jonah
Wolfgang :)

So, what would your vote be?

In the Meantime...

We're still struggling with the naming issue. We've narrowed it down, but my #1 choice is Kelly's #6 so we're taking a break for a while. In the meantime, a friend suggested her favorite name, and I've decided that I'll use that until the final choice is decided. So for now, this little boy's name is Wolfgang. Nothing will make Kelly appreciate Marcus more than listening to that name a few times. :) No offense to other Wolfgangs out there, of course.

It's A Boy

Ultrasounds are the greatest. They make your baby look a little bit monsterish, but it's amazing to see them moving and to see what amazing growth has occurred in such a few short weeks. I went in today for my "First Study" test where they determine whether or not the baby has Down Syndrome and while I was having my ultrasound, the tech asked if I wanted to know the baby's gender. Of course I did, because I've had suspicions all along that it was a boy. So, she completed her necessary measurements and then checked for me. Within moments she had the perfect between the legs, from the bottom facing up shot. "That looks very much like a boy," I said. "I was about to say the same thing," she replied. She got a few more shots from different angles, but each time the evidence was pretty clear. I decided in good taste, to not post an image of it. :) Of course, this early, they give no guarantees. It's really at the 20 week scan that they're more confident, but I knew with Isabella at this age, so my chances are good. It's fun to be able to confidently assign a pronoun to the baby now, rather than calling him "it" or simply "the baby." Plus now I can move on from calling him Cletus the Fetus and start seriously considering a name. Only problem being that Kelly and I can't seem to agree on one. Oh well, she who goes through labor gets final say, right?