After all, God is a parent too

We invited some friends over for a game night tonight, so I had to make sure my apartment was presentable. However, it was another no nap day for Benjamin. So, that meant whatever I did, had to be done with him and he wasn't interested in cleaning. So, by 3pm, I still hadn't done any. Finally I gave up and took him to the post office where I needed to mail a certified letter. He fell asleep on the way home, but I assumed that he'd wake up again when I got him inside, as he always does. He has never slept more than 5 minutes in his car seat outside of the car. But, not wanting to waste a second, I put his seat on the floor and started moping, hoping to at least finish the kitchen before he started to cry. I finished the kitchen and he was still asleep, so I did the entry way...then the guest bathroom...then the master bath...and he was still asleep!! So I started scrubbing tubs, cleaning toilets and sinks, and dusting the furniture. Finally, as I finished off the very last thing, I heard him start to fuss. It was a miracle! I'd finished the whole place! The only thing I had left was vacuuming (hadn't wanted to make so much noise), so I put him in his bouncer seat and he watched me vacuum, completely contented. Honestly, I don't know what happened, but I can only assume it was divine intervention. Heavenly Father knows what it's like to be a parent and really need your child to take a nap. I've never seen Benjamin sleep so soundly in his seat and I've never seen him sit so long and watch me vacuum! Even when I vacuumed in other rooms, he sat quietly and waited. It was a miracle of immense proportions. Parting the red sea has nothing on this! So, my place looked great and I was all excited. Then the phone rang - our friends weren't going to be able to come. They wanted to postpone until Friday. Oh well, my place still looked fantastic. At least I could enjoy it. :) Now let's hope for another miracle on Friday.

Benjamin in his bouncer seat yesterday. He really enjoys the lights and sounds, and especially the mirror in the middle. He "talks" to and smiles at the baby he sees inside it.


I was in this picture too, but it's a "self portrait" so to speak, and it was far from flattering, so now it's only a picture of Benjamin. He looks very serious in this shot. I think it's cute.

A tall drink of water

That's what the doctor called Benjamin today. Apparently, that's supposed to mean that he's tall and skinny. He's 24.5 inches long and weighs 12lbs 1oz. So, at two months old, that puts him in the 95th percentile for height and the 50th percentile for weight. Looking at me, the doctor declared that he likely gets his genes from the other side of the family. Thanks doc, so are you saying I'm short or that I'm fat? ;) But he added that at 2 months, it's too early to really tell. In any case, Benjamin is a perfectly healthy little boy and thanks to the shots he got today, hopefully he'll stay that way. Of course, I would have loved to spare him that ordeal. I've never heard him wail with such intensity! Three times they poked his little thigh with needles. I read in a parenting magazine that you shouldn't try to distance yourself from the situation and look like the good guy by saying things like "That was mean, wasn't it?" or "What a nasty doctor to poke you like that!" Instead you should focus on why they're doing it and how you know it may hurt but you want to protect them. So, I tried to remember that and although I wanted to dissassociate myself from that awful feeling, I held his little hand, stroked his head, and told him how important all this was for him and how he'll be healthy and strong later on because of it. Who knows if that really made any difference to him and that's not to say that it didn't still break my heart to see him poked like that. But alas, it's over. Now I'm supposed to go get a flu shot to keep from possibly giving the flu to Benjamin. The problem is that I've never gotten the flu except the one time that I got a flu shot! ;)

Some more tummy time:

How many leaf blowers does it take...?

For some reason Benjamin refused to take his usual morning nap today and so by 1pm he was very tired. I managed to get him to go to sleep and hoped he would make up for the morning, but after only a short while I heard the dreaded lawn care truck arrive. Ugh, these people bug me. Yes, they provide a useful service, but does their equipment have to be soooooo loud? The minute they started working I heard whimpers coming from Benjamin's room. Pretty soon Benjamin was in full-out wailing mode and no amount of white noise makers would help. I got him up and looked outside to see not 1, not 2, not even 3, but 4 guys with leaf blowers walking as a group, blowing clipped grass right under my window. Then, over by my door, a bull-dozer moving dirt from one spot to another for some unknown reason. Finally, a little ways off - 2 riding lawn mowers circling around on the grass and a guy with an edger trimming around the curb. No one could have slept through that racket! Plus, it's now 6pm and they're still mowing and edging and blowing - 5 hours later!! And still, Benjamin has not gone to sleep. So, this is my battle today. Oh, how nice it would be to own a house where you can mow the lawn when it's not nap time and if your neighbor mows his lawn, it's with one lawn mower at a time. Not to mention, if I owned a house, I wouldn't have smoker man's noxious fumes wafting into my bedroom at all hours of the day and night. But alas, we're too chicken for such a huge step just yet, so I must deal with the consequences of apartment living. Though, I sure love having maintenance guys to call whenever anything breaks! :)

End of the story: It's now after 9pm, and for all those dying to know how the story ends - Benjamin finally fell asleep for 30 minutes after the lawn crew left and thus got enough rest that he was his normal, happy self until bedtime. We played his favorite game - the airplane - which elicited the usual excitement. This is where I (or Kelly) lay on my back and lift him above me, in a laying down position, so he's looking down at me. Whenever I do this, he smiles. I've actually been able to stop him in mid-wail with this move.

The airplane game:


Coming in for a landing:



Also, we played on the blanket a bit which resulted in his first laugh while awake! It was so amazing! He has the cutest laugh! He grinned real big and laughed several times as I moved his arms around and sung little songs. Finally, at the usual 9pm, I carried him into his room, swaddled him, sung to him, and laid him down. He smiled at me as I said goodnight and walked out. I haven't heard a peep since, so I'm assuming he's asleep. Why does he do so well at night but have so many troubled afternoons (with or without work crews outside)? I don't know, but I'm grateful it's not the other way around. So there you go, all's well that ends well.

Let's Go Shopping!

I felt out of sorts Friday and Saturday. Kelly was gone all day both days, not to mention the whole week, of course, and I felt lonely and a little depressed. I don't know why exactly, but subesquently I did what every American girl does to make herself feel better - I went to the mall! In all reality, I'm not a big fan of the mall, but I really wanted to get out and walk around and be around other people besides just Benjamin. So, I dressed him up in a spiffy little outfit, complete with shoes (not easy to put shoes on an infant!) and off we went.


I have to say, I didn't look nearly as good as he did, but no one looks at the person pushing the stroller anyway. Benjamin seemed to really like the mall. He was alert and attentive for a long time. He looked at all the people and the multitude of colors. I noticed he seemed to get a little nervous as I passed through a large group of people waiting for an autograph from a Detroit Tigers player, but he calmed down again right after. He never cried the whole time we were there. It was really fun to window shop. I didn't buy anything for two reasons: 1. I'm a penny-pinching miser who feels mall prices are ridiculous and 2. dealing with a stroller in the dressing room was way too much work. I guess it's just like you never notice how wheelchair unfriendly a place is when you can walk. I noticed how tight many areas in stores are once I had a stroller to push around. However, even though I came home empty handed, and possibly even because I came home empty handed (no buyer's remorse), I felt really good after only a short time in the mall. I also ran into some friends who work at various stores in the mall, who hadn't seen Benjamin yet and it was fun to show him off. By the time we went out to the car, he was worn out and was sound asleep before we even got out of the parking lot.



The many adventures of Benjamin:

Putting up with Mommy's love of hats and cuddly outfits:


Exploring my "big boy" toys:


Talking to the fish that hangs above my play mat:


Dressing up for church:


Taking pictures with Daddy:




Also, update on the sleep situation: although his 12 hour night was a one-time delight, he has been a great sleeper ever since. He sleeps from 9 until 5 or 5:30 every night, eats, and sleeps again until 8. He's a terrific little boy. And the best part is, I no longer wake up every hour fearing the worst. I now sleep peacefully until 5:30 right along with him.

The Whole Night Through

On the eve of his 8 week birthday, Benjamin slept through the night for the first time. (He must really like the crib!) He's had a couple nights where he's slept from 11 to 4 or something similar, but last night I put him down at 9 and he woke back up at 8:45 the next day. It was glorious. I don't know if it was a fluke or not, but it sure made me happy. I've read that once they're 11 lbs. (he's almost 12), metabolically babies can last through the night without eating. It's just that most babies wake up out of habit. Likely Benjamin will still take a while to make sleeping through the night a habit, but as a mother, I just have to brag a bit. My Benjamin is just so awesome.

Also, while we're on the subject of milestones, he shed his first tear yesterday as well. He had been playing peacefully by himself on a blanket for a while when he started to cry. I tried distracting him a little to get him to stop (using the those colorful linkable rings that he loves) and I noticed a little tear running down his cheek. They say that tear ducts develop around this time, so I guess that's finally happened for him. It was the most tender thing! As I wiped it away and picked him up, it made me think of the scripture in Isaiah 25 where it states that God will "wipe away tears from off all faces." I had never wiped anyone's tears away and it made me feel truly motherly for a moment. He's really my little boy. He relies on me and I love him so dearly. When I pick him up and he puts his arms around my neck and rests his head on my chest, there are no words to describe that moment. And now that he's a little bigger and sturdier, he's just so much fun to cuddle! I could hug him all day long.

His 8 week birthday photo




Also, along with the motherly warm fuzzies, comes another mother distinction - when it comes to Benjamin, nothing is too gross to handle. From spit to vomit to boogers to poop, no bodily fluid or substance bothers me anymore. Truly, it's just like people say - when it's your own kid, you don't mind. I used to hate being drooled on by other people's kids and don't even get me started on changing their poopy diapers! But for some reason with Benjamin, he'll wipe a booger on my shirt and I'll just think, 'oh, I'm glad that's not bothering him anymore.' What has happened to me? And I'm one of those people who's very conscious of my own personal space. Someone, even Kelly, breathing in my face drives me insane. Yet I find Benjamin's breath pleasing. When he breathes in my face, I think, 'how wonderful, that was inside my little baby.' Is that twisted? I don't know why all the rules change when it comes to your own kid, but truly, it's like Johnson & Johnson says, "Having a baby changes everything."

Every time Kelly feeds him, he tries to teach Benjamin how to hold his own bottle. Leave it to Kelly to try to automate even that process. :) So, here's an example of last night's attempt. Not bad in my opinion. It stayed like that for nearly the entire time he ate.

The Brand New Crib

Benjamin moved out of the pac-n-play bassinet to a real crib today. He's now just under 12 pounds and we noticed that no matter where we placed him in the bassinet, he'd sunk into the middle by the end of his nap. When your bassinet takes on a taco shape - time to move on. So, we got the crib and the mattress, but being the new parents that we are, didn't get sheets or bumper pads. Brilliant. So, he's kickin' it simple style - plain blanket on bare mattress with towels hung over the rails as bumper pads. It'll do for now, I suppose. :) After I assembled the crib (all by myself, hoorah!), I had to take a picture (minus the towels)and see how Benjamin liked it. However, today was not a good day for the little guy. He had some sort of stomach issue and had spent the entire day screaming, filling his diaper, passing gas, and going bright red in the face while grunting. He also almost pulled another 'all-dayer' except that he occasionally drifted off for 20 minutes or so from time to time. So, when I laid him in the crib, he was less than pleased. Had to get a photo of his reaction anyway, though. Couldn't pass up the moment. Currently he's sleeping quite well in it, thanks to Kelly, who took over for me once he got home. What would I do without him? (He even made a cheese cake a couple nights ago that we've finished off together this evening.) Cudos to all those single moms out there. I would be lost.

The new crib, still where I set it up, not where it will end up, since the pac-n-play has yet to be taken down.



Benjamin's reaction. I'm feeling the love.



Thought I'd include a picture of him actually sleeping. Mentally link this one to the one of the crib, if you will.

Has it been 5 years already?

Kelly and I celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary this week. It's been a wonderful journey and I look forward to all that's ahead. It also happened to be the week of Benjamin's blessing at church. So, the whole family came into town. His blessing went great. Kelly did a wonderful job. Plus, Benjamin only fussed a little at first, but thanks to some bouncing, he calmed down and was quiet the rest of the time. For our anniversary, we went to Cedar Point amusement park with a couple ward members and our whole family (minus my mom and Benjamin). That place has some the most amazing roller coasters I've ever seen! Not for the faint of heart (or weak of stomach, such as myself). We all had a fantastic time and luckily, only once did I come close to losing my lunch all over the unsuspecting populace below the coaster. That's one good thing about the LONG lines at that place - it gives your stomach time to settle before you flip it around again.

The family gathered for a day of fun.



Kelly in his oh-so-stylin shades and Ford Fusion visor which unfortunatley didn't survive the day. May it rest in peace below the hideously jerky and bumpy Magnum XL-200. So sad.



Benjamin in his cute blessing outfit. Thanks to Sue for making it for him. It's adorable.



The family at our place after the blessing.



We bought Benjamin some pajama pants today and this hat came with it. As it says on the hat, "so cute!"



Just a couple cuddly Benjamin pics. I love my little boy.





P.S. Thanks to all those who comment on my posts. I love to read your thoughts and ideas. Also, special thanks to my faithful reader, Julie, who I don't think I've ever met (have I?), whose good ideas and compliments have made my day many-a-time.

I am SO tired!

Benjamin pulled an "all-dayer" today. That's what I call the opposite of an "all-nighter." Not a feat for an adult, but quite a rare feat for a five week old. So ironic that he does this after I write what a sleepy guy he can be! The day did not go over well. It went something like this: eat, change diaper, play, get tired, cry like crazy for an hour or so until hungry again, repeat from the start. Only the further we got, "play" dropped out and it went from eat to cry and back again for the entire day. It was death. You could tell he was so incredibly tired. His eyes were red and his cries became weaker and weaker, but for some reason, even when he did manage to drift off, he'd wake right back up again. It was insane. We tried the pacifier, the bouncer seat, rocking, just letting him cry, putting him down right after eating, going for a walk in the stroller, etc., but nothing worked. He ended up being awake for nearly 14 hours straight. How my little boy managed, or more importantly WHY he managed, I'll never know. I can only thank God he's asleep now and pray he'll be better tomorrow. Here's what he looked like, in all his droopy eyed glory, as I fed him around 6pm - after being awake for 10 hours:



On a happier note, Benjamin has gotten really strong and manages to hold his head up for long periods of time now. Also, he really likes to practice standing. We will balance him and he will actually support his own weight for quite a while. It has stopped him from crying many a time and he often grins while he's doing it like he knows he's pretty cool. (No grin in this picture, but trust me, he does.)

Sleeping Beauty

Little Benjamin is the sleepiest eater ever. It seems no matter how hungry he is, once he starts eating, it's off to dream land. Consequently he doesn't end up eating very much and then is hungry soon after. Often just laying him down on a blanket so he's not all warm and cozy next to me will wake him up, but when that fails, I've tried tickling his back, feet, hands, and/or face. I've also shaken him, blown on him, talked loudly to him, and sprinkled water on his face. Last night Kelly went so far as to stick his foot in a cup of cold water! It did the trick for about 5 seconds before he dozed off again. Yesterday I thought I'd time him from the time he latched on to the time his eyes closed and he stoped sucking. Any guesses? 39 seconds. Yes, seconds. The other issue this creates is what the baby whisperer calls "snacking." He only eats an ounce or two each time and then is hungry again right away, once he's awake enough to realize it (usually about 15-20 minutes later). She says to try to drag out the time between feedings at first by 10 minutes, then 15, and so on until they're eating every 2.5 to 3 hours like they should. I've tried that. What happens is that he cries those whole 10 or 15 minutes and wears himself out so that by the time I finally give up and feed him, he's even more tired and he eats even less!! Not effective. The strange thing is that at night he goes 3-4 hours at a time and eats a full 4+ ounces before going back to sleep. I can't figure out why he can't do it during the day. Alas, this is the newest battle we're facing. I'm sure it'll will change in a day or two.

In other news, Benjamin has now been taking real baths. His cord finally fell off at 4 weeks. Here's a picture from our first bath attempt using a fancy baby bath tub. (With a carefully placed wash cloth.) I decided immediately I didn't like the tub because he doesn't actually sit in the water, so it's just like the sponge baths he was taking. Plus, he gets cold sitting wet like that. You can see on his face he's not too enthused. So, since then it's been bath time in the sink, but I've been alone doing all those, so no pictures just yet. (Bath time with a baby makes you wish you had 5 hands - 2 to hold him, 2 to wash him, and 1 to grab all the stuff you need, like shampoo, towels, etc.) It's so cute seeing his face as I lower him into the water. His eyes get really big in surprise. Once he's in, he seems to enjoy it. Today he smiled at me the whole time as I washed him. Plus, he looks so cute in his little baby towel with the corner that folds over his head. I noticed he's got a rash around his chest and neck and into his hair, though. I'm not sure if that's just baby hormones and skin issues or a reaction to something. Just in case, our bath today was just plain water, no baby soap. We'll see if it clears up. It doesn't seem to bother him, so I hope it's not serious.

Happy 1 Month Birthday

Our little Benjamin turned 1 month old today. Hard to believe it's been a month already. I ordered his birth certificate today. (Leave it to Detroit to charge you for even your first copy of your own son's birth certificate. This city is so messed up.) Benjamin seemed extra cuddly today, though, which was so sweet. He spent a long time in the afternoon just laying peacefully on my chest, not asleep, just laying there. That's kind of unusual for him. Normally he's either falling asleep or bouncing around when he's on my chest. I sat there and tried to make a mental image of the moment because I know some day he's going to be grown and I'm going to wish for my little baby back on my chest. He was also especially smiley again. He laid on his changing pad for almost 30 minutes staring in the bathroom mirror grinning and squeeling at himself and me. In fact, when I got hungry and wanted to take him into the kitchen, he actually started fussing as I picked him up and only stopped when I laid him back down to look in the mirror for a little while longer. Can he really see anything in it? What does he see when he looks in there? I'm continually wondering how he sees the world and what he understands of it. Can he tell that I'm speaking a different language to him than his father does? Can he recognize the music I play as the music he heard while in the womb? Can he appreciate the fuzziness of his blanket vs. the roughness of my jeans? What is he thinking and what about the ceiling/wall/mirror does he find so funny? If only we could remember being that age. It's sad that such perceptions are lost to our memory and those who know, can't communicate it. I think it would be fascinating.

Oh yeah, I'm one month old already! Check me out!


In other news, he also vomited his dinner tonight, which was not pleasant, but I felt so bad for him. I hate to see him uncomfortable and I can't imagine losing what seemed like about 4 oz. of milk through your nose is very comfortable. I don't know why, but Benjamin doesn't spit up little bits like most babies. When he loses his lunch, it's full-out vomiting. He doesn't do it often, but he does it in style. It pours from his nose and his mouth simultaneously and it's always more than I even thought his stomach could hold. Needless to say, the carpet will need some cleaning tomorrow, in addition to the rocking chair cushion and both of our clothes.

He was smiling right before this, but by the time the camera flashed, the yawn was all I got. People say he has my nose. :)


A couple more attempts at the perfect one month old picture. I'm really no photographer. (That's my arm and my knees in the background.) Thank goodness he's photogenic.


I thought I'd include the lyrics of one of my favorite songs in today's post. It's by Dar Williams and I tear up every time I hear it because I think it's such a perfect tribute to a mother's love. I think of my mother as I listen to it and I think of Benjamin. Enjoy.

The One Who Knows
by: Dar Williams

Time it was I had a dream, and you're the dream come true. If I had the world to give, I'd give it all to you.
I'll take you to the mountains, I will take you to the sea. I'll show you how this life became a miracle to me.

You'll fly away, but take my hand until that day. So when they ask how far love goes,
When my job's done you'll be the one who knows.

All the things you treasure most will be the hardest won.
I will watch you struggle long before the answers come.
But I won't make it harder, I'll be there to cheer you on,
I'll shine the light that guides you down the road you're walking on.

You'll fly away, but take my hand until that day. So when they ask how far love goes,
When my job's done you'll be the one who knows.

Before the mountains call to you, before you leave this home,
I want to teach your heart to trust, as I will teach my own,
But sometimes I will ask the moon where it shined upon you last,
And shake my head and laugh and say it all went by too fast.

You'll fly away, but take my hand until that day. So when they ask how far love goes,
When my job's done you'll be the one who knows.

Relaxing on the Boppy

I was feeding Benjamin today and as usual, he quickly zonked out. I knew if I laid him down for a moment he'd wake up, so I rested him on the boppy. True to form, he started making those adorable smiles that he does when he's just dozing off. So I had to take a picture. And yes, he woke up again right after that, ready to eat some more.



Yesterday we were working on holding up one's own head - a true test of strength for any 3 week old. He was doing well on the floor and on my chest, so I wanted to get a picture from a better angle. I put him on the boppy in the hope that he'd try again. However, the champion was worn out and this was the best I got. Still a valiant effort and a very cute photo. We'll have to try again another time.

So Much to Learn

This blog is called “figuring it out” so here are a few things I’m figuring out:

1. How to do the daily tasks of life, that normally require two hands, using only one, while carrying a wobbly-headed infant with the other. I’ve made fruit smoothies, folded laundry, made the bed, and fixed chicken stir-fry while holding Benjamin in those moments when he refused to be set down. However, since I shared an embarrassing moment of Benjamin’s, it seems only fair to share one of mine now. It has to do with that last item, which I don’t plan on ever trying again. I had just started making dinner when he woke up and so I was forced to hold him as I finished. However, he wasn’t his usual happy self and so he was flopping himself every which way. I quickly realized that holding him while standing at the stove was too dangerous to risk, so I set down the spatula I was going to use to stir the chicken and went to sit down with him. After a minute or so, I left him to fuss a bit while I hurriedly checked on my food. I returned to the stove to find that my “heat-resistant” spatula isn’t really. Turns out, in my attention to Benjamin, I had turned on the wrong burner – not the one under the pan, but the one next to it – the one on which I’d just laid the spatula. It was now smoking, melting, and last but not least, shooting off little flames! I now have a spatula that, as Kelly put it, can flip things in pans from around the corner! I take my melted, curvy spatula as a sign that truly, my mind is on Benjamin first and foremost – a noble thing indeed. :) However, I think I’ll stick to non-fire related tasks next time I have to carry him while working around the house.

2. What to do once I go bald, because surely that’s where I’m headed seeing as how I’m losing gobs and gobs of hair every minute. Everyone told me that I’d get really thick hair while I was pregnant and then lose a lot of it afterwards. I never saw it get any thicker, but I’m horrified every time I brush my hair lately! Locks of Love, save some for me!

3. How to breastfeed in public using a blanket as a cover (while visiting teaching, no less)! Hurrah! I wasn’t sure how my first time at that would go, but I survived and so did Benjamin. I think he was a little confused why he was completely covered, but I think he quickly came to appreciate the warmth and closeness it provided because he fell asleep even faster than usual! That was frustrating, but I’d rather have him asleep than flailing his arms and throwing the blanket off!

Sorry no new pictures today. More next time.

Future Ute

We went to a picnic yesterday for all Ford employees that went to Brigham Young University and/or the University of Utah. I made sure to dress Benjamin in a red onesie (thanks to Kris for that since it's the only one he's got)and I wore my red shirt so we'd show our Ute pride. I made sure the diaper bag was well stocked with all needful things and off we went to our first outing with Benjamin. He did great. Everyone thought he was adorable and he never fussed. He never even got hungry. I had the formula ready but never needed it. BTW, we've had to switch to soy-based formula because he kept throwing up the milk-based one the hospital gave us. I don't know if it's the milk or some other factor (flavor, temperature, nipple size, etc.) that caused the throw-ups, but I decided I wasn't going to spend a lot of time figuring it out. I just got some soy formula and he seems to handle it better. We'll see if this is a sign of a milk allergy or not. Luckily we only use formula as a supplement and not as a sole source of food. Anyway, here's a picture of Benjamin with daddy at the lake during the picnic.

Happy Little Baby

Just a quick post today. I want to share something cute. As I mentioned earlier, Benjamin continues to laugh in his sleep on a regular basis and I just love catching him doing it. However, in addition, I've noticed that he gets really smilely (is that a word?) as he's falling asleep. As he dozes off, his eyes will roll a little and he'll get a big grin on his face. I wonder if the laugh-inducing dreams are already appearing and he's getting excited. ;) He seems a very happy little boy and that makes me happy too.

Kind of shows what I'm talking about:



One other cute story - as with all boys, diaper change time can be dangerous. The cannon is always ready and waiting to strike an unsuspecting victim if left unattended. Kelly, I, and many others have learned this the hard way over the past couple weeks. So, lately, I'm usually quite careful. However, yesterday I let my guard down again and turned away for a moment as I grabbed a fresh diaper. As I turned back around, I looked at Benjamin's face and burst out laughing as I saw that he had become his own latest victim. Pee was pouring onto his face like a fountain as he squirmed and grimaced under the unfamiliar barrage. He never cried or fussed, but just seemed terribly confused by what was happening. I hurriedly placed the diaper over him and then of course, had to clean him up all over again and change his now soaked onesie. It was incredibly funny to watch, though, and I'm amazed by how calmly he handled having water (so to speak) poured on his face. I can't wait to give him his first bath. When will that cord ever fall off??

Returning to Normal

I think my life is slowly returning to normal...well...that's not quite right since nothing's as it was before Benjamin arrived, but let's say that my life is settling into a predictable rhythm. Yeah, that's a better way of putting it. Last week had some pretty hard days. I didn't want to write about it in the last entry because that was a good day and I was hoping for more, but before that and the next day after the last entry, I'd say I had what is so innocuously called "baby blues." I would sit on the couch or pace the floor trying to keep Benjamin from screaming and I'd start crying even harder than he was. I would spend hours trying to calm him and completely wear myself out. I wanted my old life back and I felt I couldn't handle things anymore. Friends called and I'd look at their name on the display and not pick up. My mother called and I'd do the same thing. I was a mess. Mentally I knew I was being ridiculous, but I couldn't shake the horrible feelings I was having.

One day a lady from church came by and brought me dinner and I had just spent the last hour crying as she rang the bell. I answered the door with my nursing bra unsnapped and hanging down under my shirt, my mascara streaked down my cheeks, and my hair a mess. Benjamin had just fallen asleep only minutes earlier. She saw me and undoubtedly got concerned. She brought in the dinner and calmed me down and offered to hold Benjamin for a while anytime he fussed and I needed a break. Just call me, she said. Ever have those people who say that but you just know you'd never call and they wouldn't ever want you to? She's not one of those. I knew she was sincere and I appreciated the offer. However, after that, for no real understandable reason, things started to improve. He started being consistent in his sleeping, didn't cry as much, I got the rest I needed to keep me sane, and my depression faded away.

They say blue is soothing to babies, so as a last resort, I covered my red shirt with a blue blanket. Apparently it worked for both of us. :)



Today, I went back to the gym for the first time. I got to talk to a few of my friends that were there. Most weren't there yet since it was 6:30am, but I wanted to get my workout in before Kelly left for work. It was so nice to be back again. I hadn't worked out there since a week before I delivered and I was feeling the withdrawal! Also, I ran for the first time in nine months! Oh, that felt wonderful! I really am a runner at heart. I was on such an endorphine high for the rest of the morning!

As for Benjamin, he's doing great. He had the regression I expected the day after I wrote the last entry, but since then, we've had wonderful nights again - two feedings, one around 2 and another around 5 and then he sleeps until 8. It's amazing. What a great little boy. Also, he usually just eats and then goes right back to sleep at night, while during the day he likes to eat, doze for a minute or two and then play for a little while (about 30 minutes) before going back to sleep. So, I'm pretty sure he's figured out the difference between night and day. Of course, "play" is a relative term when we're talking about newborns. Most often that means staring at a spot on the wall.

Kelly loves playing "tummy time" with him. I had never heard of this concept, but apparently thanks to all the emphasis on SIDS, babies don't get enough time on their stomachs anymore, so doctors recommend letting your baby lay on their stomachs on a hard surface 2-3 times a day while you watch them, so they'll strengthen their back muscles and learn to like all different body positions. Kelly has turned this time into a major athletic event. He lays next to him on the floor and cheers him on like a Brazilian soccer fan. Ben can lift his head, turn it side to side, kick his legs, and do what sort of looks like a push-up. So, of course, we think he's amazing and gifted, and Kelly praises him accordingly. :) It's a lot of fun.

Tummy Time:




We also took him to church for the first time yesterday. He did really well. I was so relieved. I assume he recognized all the hymns and it kept him calm. :) It was especially fun to show him off to everyone. Also, I had a bottle ready for him when he got hungry and so he never fussed. That was great. The funny thing about Ben's eating habits is that he's terribly noisy! He makes very loud gulping sounds and when he breaths while eating, it squeaks. So, of course, the chapel was uncharacteristically silent yesterday as you hear my little boy's squeaks and gulps resonate through the room. As the coup de gras, he finished off his meal with a loud bowel movement and a satisfied burp. What a gentleman. :)

More attempts at a portrait shot: